


The T in Trigger stands for Trauma

by mildrice



Series: Throw every Shard at the wall [2]
Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Worm (Parahumans), Worm (web serial), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Crossover, Fantasy, Gen, POV Multiple, Science Fiction, Trans Bakugou Katsuki, Trans Male Character, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-06-26 05:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15656877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildrice/pseuds/mildrice
Summary: Parahumans live ironic lives, where the abilities they gain continue to drive them into situations which triggered their powers in the first place





	1. Striker | Brute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenko walks through the dust carefully. It’s gross and dirty. There’s a hand lying on the ground. Weird. He steps closer to look at it. The hand looks familiar. Nope. Tenko is not going to look at it. He crawls back into the closet and now exhausted, falls asleep. He dreams of a strange figure, almost too bright to look at. She touches him and he cries. He won’t remember this harsh warmth ever again.

Shimura Tenko is stuck. It’s dark. He’s scared. Mommy and Daddy are yelling. Daddy told him to hide in the closet but when Daddy pushed him in Tenko’s arms got stuck in all the clothes and now he’s itchy but he can’t move and why isn’t Mommy making noise anymore?

 

It’s quiet now and all Tenko can here is his own breathing. He doesn’t like this, it’s not good at all. He’s so itchy and so scared and stuck. Where is Daddy? Where is Mommy? What is happening? Tenko is a good boy! He just wants to…oh, he wants to watch cartoons with Daddy! Yes! And then play video games. He wants to eat dinner and Mommy and Daddy will smile at each other and everything will be okay.

 

Tenko hears footsteps. They don’t sound familiar. Mommy walks with longer strides, and Daddy shuffles. This person is stomping. He’s scared. He wants out. Tenko can’t move and, and, and -

And the closet door opens and that person is not Daddy or Mommy. He grabs Tenko and while Tenko tries to wiggle away he’s so little and the person is so big. Tenko is crying. He just wanted to play with Daddy. Where is Daddy?

 

“Stop movin’ kid, or I’ll make ya stop movin’!” Tenko gulps. He tries to swallow the tears and stay still but it’s so hard and it’s too much and where is Daddy? Where is he? If he were here Tenko could just grab him and then Daddy would pick him up in a big hug and everything will be okay.

All the wiggling and moving around means that Tenko’s arms and hands are finally free. The big person said not to move but Tenko doesn’t have to listen to anyone but Daddy so he wiggles and moves around trying to escape. He’ll be like a hero who escapes a villain! Tenko manages to smack a free hand on the person and wow his hand feels weird. It’s warm? It’s almost as if someone is holding his hand, gifting him with something. The lights are out and it’s dark so Tenko knows he can’t see anything but his hand feels dusty and the person is screaming at him. It’s so noisy. Tenko keeps smacking him. “Be quiet! Lemme go! Lemme go! Daddy!”

 

The person isn’t making noise anymore. Tenko drops to the ground, hitting his head. Ow. It hurts. He lays there, staring up at darkness. He wishes Daddy was here.

Is something touching him? Tenko reaches out. Did he fall asleep?

 

“Oh Ten-kun you’re safe, you’re safe.” Is that Daddy? Tenko grabs out with both his arms. He sits up because wants a hug from Daddy he gives the bestest hugs. “T-Tenko? What are you doing? Tenko? Stop! Stop! Stop -”

Tenko’s confused. He rubs his eyes, what is Daddy scared about? Why is the floor covered in dust? Tenko looks around and sees dust, dust, and what is that? What, is that Daddy? What’s wrong with Daddy? Tenko was okay now so why wasn’t Daddy? Tenko reaches out to grab Daddy, to hug him because hugs make things better but Daddy flinches away? Daddy never flinches away from Tenko, only from Mommy sometimes but that’s okay because everyone flinches from Mommy but why is Daddy not happy? Tenko’s okay now and Mommy isn’t here and the big scary person isn’t here.

Daddy looks like he’s trying to say something but Tenko can’t understand what he’s saying. “I lo - “ starts Daddy but then his face crumbles away. This has to be a bad dream. Tenko doesn’t understand. Daddy can’t leave like this. Tenko stops touching Daddy. Maybe this is all a bad dream. He runs away to his bedroom and tries to make this dream end.

 

Wake up Tenko. Wake up. This is like those bad dreams with the monsters chasing you just wake up. Daddy will be okay. It’s okay.

 

Tenko doesn’t wake up. He wanders around the apartment, maybe he can wake up this way? The kitchen is a mess. He goes to clean up the spills with the mop as usual but the mop starts to fall apart as soon as he touches it. This is not good. Mommy is going to be so mad. Tenko is scared.

 

Tenko runs back to the big closet. Maybe if he hides again then everything will go back to normal? Yes. The Closet. Bad things happened when he left there. He’ll go back there.

 

Tenko walks through the dust carefully. It’s gross and dirty. There’s a hand lying on the ground. Weird. He steps closer to look at it. The hand looks familiar. Nope. Tenko is not going to look at it. He crawls back into the closet and now exhausted, falls asleep. He dreams of a strange figure, almost too bright to look at. She touches him and he cries. He doesn't remember it when he wakes up the next morning, dried tears marking his small face. 


	2. Changer | Striker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does Deku keep looking down on Katsuki? He's nothing. He's useless. He doesn't have power over him. Deku needs to stop. He's going to get himself killed. Deku, Deku, Deku. why is everything always about Deku? He doesn't matter. He isn't strong or fast or smart as Katsuki is. He's just a useless extra… he has to be.

Katsuki is leading his lackeys on an adventure. They're going on a hike and have wandered a bit off of the path. He's leading of course since he’s the best. Fingers, Wings, and Deku trail behind him as expected. At one point they reach a creek. There is a log in front of the quartet that crosses the water too. Katsuki is reminded of a recent video that he watched where the hero had run across telephone wires to beat the villains. The nearby log seems like the perfect start for future Number-One-Hero-Katsuki-Bakugou to start practicing his precise running! He runs ahead and prepares to dash across the log. No one can hold back his awesomeness.

“Ah! Kacchan don't do that you could get hurt?”

Katsuki spins around to tell off stupid Deku for not believing in him. His foot slips on the moss though, and he plummets into the water below. It is cold and full of stones. He is lucky he didn't hit his head. Fingers and Wings are in the background as the extras they are. They're cheering him on as if he fell off on purpose.

“Are you alright Kacchan? You’re really lucky you didn’t hit your head.”

Deku is looking down at Katsuki. He has his hand outstretched as if Katsuki needs his help. Hah! He doesn’t need anyone else because he’s strong. Deku needs to stop babying him like this. He’s fine. He’s a big boy now and Deku needs to stop doing crap like this. He’s not a little baby that needs to be protected.

“Deku! I don’t need you to do this!”

“But...but Kacchan! You’ll catch a cold!”

 

Katsuki is so tired of Deku doing this! He’s number one and Deku is just a sidekick. Katsuki is going to be the best and no one will stop him! He’s faster. He’s smarter. He’s better than Deku! Why won't Deku recognize his strength? Why won't Deku just know his place? Katsuki’s vision is blurring with the amount of anger he’s holding back. He can’t stand Deku always doing this - always being above Katsuki, always with his hand out as if that's what Katsuki needs. His hands feel clammy and sweaty. Why does Deku make him feel nervous? He’s a dorky little kid who keeps following him around even when Katsuki told him not to! Katsuki feels hot, too warm like his hands are on fire. Katsuki is going to destroy Deku if he doesn’t move his damn hand out of his face. It won’t be his fault ‘cause Deku pushed him too far this time and --

 

\--And somehow in a brief moment of peace, a terrifying humanoid presence touches him, as if releasing the dam on his emotions. Katsuki won’t remember this though, he’ll just recall feeling red hot and so irritated and angry and _(scared)_...

“Back off!” Katsuki yells, brushing out his arms. From his hands come small explosions, bright and loud as all the things he’s kept trying to tell Deku but the kid won’t stop coming at him. Deku looks scared. Good! He should be. Deku needs to back off.

 

After his trigger, Katsuki assumes that since he’s hit Deku with his _(new, awesome, powerful!)_ quirk rather than just his words that the nerd will back off. Deku doesn’t, however, and it is driving Katsuki nuts. Deku keeps coming back and Katsuki can feel himself grinding his teeth and something is screaming at him to fight! And fight! And destroy useless Deku and so he does. Sort of.

Katsuki just wants to be alone! But he also wants to fight Deku! But he hates Deku. But he doesn’t understand Deku. And he used to maybe like being around him once but now being near him literally pains him and his hands hurt and, and, and… _boom!_ Katsuki gets used to dealing with explosions. His sweat can change to nitroglycerin now, and even the tiniest bit of error can make big explosions. He has to practice and be the best. He’s obviously the best at this tiny little school (even if Deku keeps challenging him! Katsuki! His authority!) but he’s not yet All Might. He’s going to be the best, unlike that quirkless loser. He’s supposed to be a hero! With this badass quirk, Katsuki is destined for greatness.

 

The years rinse and repeat. He yells at Deku and blasts his explosions at him. Deku backs off. Katsuki can breathe again. Deku comes back and the internal screams to beat him down return and Katsuki lashes out at Deku, and of course, it’s Deku as everything in his life seems to center around Deku.

 

 

_Why can’t he just leave him alone?_

 

 

Years pass, and the pair continue to be placed in the same grade through primary and secondary school. Katsuki is going to go to UA, though, so Deku won’t be able to follow him there! It’ll just be Katsuki and he’ll destroy anyone who gets in his ways since he’s the best, damn it!

 

In reflection, Katsuki may have messed up but that nerd was taking it too far. How dare he? He’s trash. Deku is going to get himself killed. It’s better that Katsuki tossed away his journal, it’s better that he told Deku once and for all that his dreams suck. On the way home, Katsuki ditches his lackeys to go by the hero merch store. All Might has some new wrist bracers that might work well with his quirk. Due to his excitement, he isn’t as alert as usual and gets jumped by a stranger. He’s being swallowed up by slime and it’s awful. It’s gross.

“Oh look at this little pint-sized flesh suit. Aren’t you cute?”

Katsuki is not okay. This slime-creature is touching him all over and he can’t breathe and this is terrifying!

“Ah, little one, just let me do this. It won’t hurt too much, I think”

Katsuki feels his hands bursting among the piles of slime, and he tries to pull himself out but he can’t and he’s losing oxygen as he struggles. Where are the heroes? He’d even take a vigilante even though they’re illegal losers. Katsuki can’t relax. He won’t. He has to win. To fight. To be the best.

 

The fucking heroes have finally started to crowd around him but they aren’t doing anything. They’re standing around being useless. Can’t they see that there’s a villian to take down? Can’t they see that Katsuki is, that he, is _(scared)_ fighting for his life _(and terrified and he’s losing and he’s going to die)_ Do the heroes think he’s not worth it? That he’s so weak that they won’t save him! Fuck that shit! Katsuki begins to struggle again, fighting back against the villain as best as he can. His palms burst with explosives and he can feel air on his hands, not damp mucus. He hears a scream in the background. That isn’t him, right?

Katsuki feels his hands shaking and this isn’t going well at all for him.

Wait. Deku. What's Deku during here?

 

"I'll save you Kacchan!"

“Get back!”

 

Deku releases Katsuki from the villain's grasp with an admittedly well-timed throw. Useless Deku doesn’t knock out the slime creature, however, and Katsuki is so drained that he can barely stand. Katsuki has to be strong though, he has to be the best, stupid Deku can’t fucking die on him just after he saved Katsuki. He feels his hands prepare to erupt once more, his body shifting to best tackle the challenge. He’ll survive this. He’ll win this. He has to.

 

“-FOR I AM HERE!” A loud booming voice interrupts Katsuki’s internal struggles and the angry rantings of the quickly approaching slime-creature.

 

“SAKURA SMASH!” All Might saves the day. He defeats the villain with a powerful earth-shattering punch. He does what Katsuki couldn’t. Katsuki is safe.

 

He didn’t need to be saved by useless Deku then. Katsuki could’ve gotten out of there without his aid. The useless heroes flock near him and rightfully shame Deku, though none of them own up to their own pointless inaction. This is why All Might is the best and everyone else is just an extra that serves no point. Katsuki can feel himself heating up. He had built up so much energy in those brief minutes. It had felt like hours while he fought for his life. He doesn’t know how to let it go. He doesn’t know if he can breathe normally again. He just doesn’t even know what the point of having this amazing quirk is if he’s so weak. So weak.

Katsuki storms home in anger the moment he can escape from the heroes. He shoves past Deku on his way. Fucking Deku. Fucking Katsuki. Fuck. Fuck!

 

Katsuki ignores Deku when he sees him next at school. He ignores the rest of the useless extras who bother him about the slime villain too. Katsuki is not some victim! They all need to back off! Katsuki is fine.

His hands' tingle with minute explosions. He can feel sweat leaving his pores, aching to be released and transformed. Katsuki is fine.

He’s fine.

 

 

_(He’s scared and why does this always happen to him why did this have to happen why did Deku do that why do his hands still hurt why does his body ache will he still get into UA with his weakness being so apparent?)_

 

 

It’s fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes from September 22nd, 2018:
> 
> In this world, all developed countries with parahumans are extremely isolated and xenophobic. All Might's canon Americana-theme would not be supported under the nationalistic nature of parahumans under threat of pseudo-endbringers. Therefore his moves will be named based on various Japanese things, from silly pop culture to significant historical references. In this case, Sakura from Naruto. _Shannaro_
> 
> Also, Katsuki is trans.


End file.
